


R6 as Memes and Vines

by JacobiBear



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Crack, F/F, F/M, Help, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Memes, Vines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-18 14:46:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18701722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JacobiBear/pseuds/JacobiBear
Summary: Idek. I think I made this when I was high, but I decided to post it anyway cause it made me laugh, so I hope it can make you laugh if your down.





	R6 as Memes and Vines

Thatcher: And now the night before Christmas

Smoke: This would be a good time for all the Muslims to go to the bathroom

Thatcher: Twas the night before Christmas-

Smoke: And all the Jews were at the movies, or eating Chinese food

Thatcher: ( ͡°_ʖ ͡°)

Smoke: I'm just trying to include everybody! 

Thatcher: Twas-

Smoke: HOLD IT! 

Thatcher: What? 

Smoke: Who the hell says twas? 

Thatcher: it's in the story

Smoke: it's old and stupid

Thatcher: it's tradition

Smoke: tis it? 

Thatcher: Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house-

Smoke: why's it always a house

Thatcher: what? 

Smoke: there's kids that live in apartments

Smoke: how does Santa Claus get to the kids that live in apartments?? 

Smoke: they have to buzz his ass in

Thatcher: And all through the *apartments* not a creature was sturing -

Smoke: except for the ass hat in 2B

Thatcher: ( ͡°_ʖ ͡°)

Smoke: their drunk and hitting each other with manurs... 

Thatcher: not a creature was sturing not even a mouse

Smoke: a mouse you wish, if your in an apartment that's a rat

Thatcher: the stockings where hung by the chimney with care

Smoke: and believe me the room could use some fresh air

Smoke: seriously how the hell did that tradition start? 

Thatcher: what? 

Smoke: hanging up dirty laundry hoping Santa would fill it up with goodies

Smoke: I'd like to suck on this candy cane but it smells like dads feet

Smoke: good thing the tradition wasn't jock straps

Smoke: Sally what's in yours?

Smoke: Nuts... And mommy says their magically delicious! 

Thatcher: You are ruining this story! 

Smoke: isn't this the part where children are leaping with sugar plums dancing in their head? 

Thatcher: yeah

Smoke: what does that mean? I think there hallucinating

Smoke: these apartment kids are on drugs

Smoke: Santa's going to being me a GI-jo *and a bong*

Smoke: and daddy wants a ho ho ho. It's daddy and the three hoes! 

Thatcher: with mommy on her kerchief and I in my cap, had just settled down-

Smoke: for a big snort of crack

Smoke: well you have to get to the part where Santa gets busted for breaking and entering, where the hell is that? 

Thatcher: ... It's not breaking and entering

Smoke: ooohh keep reading I think it qualifiessss

Thatcher: as I drew in my head and was turning around down the chimney St Nicolas came with a bowl. 

Smoke: he fell down? 

Thatcher: yes

Smoke: didn't they say his face was all red? 

Thatcher: yeah

Smoke: why does no one see this he is drunk off his ass! 

Smoke: this is a horrible horrible story! 

Thatcher: he was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. 

Smoke: fat, drinking and driving, in a furry gay outfit, covered in soot, he's smoking and you let him in the house cause he said he had something for your kids. 

Smoke: what the hell kinda father are you anyways?! 

Smoke: if I were you I'd check his ID then tazer his fat ass

Thatcher: .... 

Smoke: and how fat is this guy anyways? 

Smoke: everyone's always leaving him a plate full of cookies, I bet he's a diabetic too don't ya think? 

Smoke: gotta leave him a plate full of insulin, how about that? 

Smoke: can't wait to here their story next year. The night before Christmas part 2, Santa's on dialysis and is missing a leg

Smoke: and all his little dollies have Poliosis. 

Thatcher: Can I finish this story?! 

Smoke: oh please do

Thatcher: he sprang to his slay, to his team gave a whistle

Smoke: gotta go quick cause there's a cop with a pistol

Thatcher: but I heard him exclaim, as he flew out of sight-

Smoke: Merry Christmas to all, oh crap I ran over your bike

~~~

Jager: Uh I got the- I'm in the know now. 

Mute: But I'm tireeeddd. 

Jäger: I don't care if your tired

Mute: But I need to go to sleepy time junction

Jäger: What? 

Mute: I never told you about sleepy time junction? 

Jäger: Noo

Mute: It was um, Chul and I. Uh years ago we went to uh comic con or catsi con, one of those. 

Jäger: Uh huh

Mute: And we were all sleeping in the same hotel room. And Chul snores horribly, so to get him back for snoring I just annoyed him mercilessly with this one song. 

Jäger: Uh huh

Mute: It's like he's trying to sleep and I'm just like, somebody's taking a train to sleepy time junction. 

Jäger: Aww

Mute: somebody's so tired he can barely function. So he's hopping on that train to sleepy time junction. 

Mute: And he's like "Damn please." And I'm like, ALL ABOARD CRIES THE ENGINEER. SLEEPY TIME JUNCTION IS SO NEAR. Haha like it just went on for hours. 

Jäger: Aww

Mute: I was such a dick. 

Jäger: I wish you would sing that song to me when I tried to sleep. 

Mute: I'll gladly sing it to you. 

~~~

Caviera: This is a robbery! Give me all your money if you want to live

Jäger: Bold of you to assume I have money

Mute: Bold of you to assume I want to live

~~~

Twitch: What's more dangerous a thought or a bullet? 

Smoke: a bullet obviously

Mute: no a thought

Smoke: how so? 

Mute: ok. Say you wanted to shoot yourself. A bullet allows you to do that but a thought actually makes you pull the trigger. 

Smoke: *Mark no*

~~~

*Vigil and Mute laying in bed together*

Mark: ... Do you think pigeons have feelings? 

Vigil: Mark, I am giving you one last chance to shut the hell up or I swear to god I will kick you out. 

Mark: ok sorry

~~~

Mute: Just remember. Nobody can hate you more than you already hate yourself. 

~~~

Marius: Ok listen up folks we have a security situation here and as you know when we reach the location I will be conducting a security sweep. Also for now on we will be using codenames. 

You can address me as Eagle 1

Emmanuel codename, been there done that

Monika is currently doing that 

Mike is, it happened once in a dream

Mark codename, if I had to pick a dude

Seamus is... Eagle 2

Seamus: oh thank god

~~~

Mike: YO WHAT'S UP SON

Mark: Dad? DAD

Mike: I'm not your dad

Mark: MOMMA SAID YOU RAN AWAY

~~~

Mike: Why is your report card on the ceiling?! 

James: you said bring my grades up

Mike: .... 

~~~

Marius: I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand

Mark: Poseidon quivers before him

Marius: FuCk OfF

~~~

Grace: He doesn't deserve you. If he doesn't treat you right by now your gone. 

Emmanuel: I'm gone

Grace: Now go chop his dick off! 

~~~

Mark: I can't find it! 

James: what are you looking for? 

Mark: my happiness

~~~

Julian: Look how cute these pens are. 

Elias: Julian that's gay

Julian: ... Elias we've been dating for-

~~~

Tiana: This coffee is bitter, like my soul

I need something black, like my soul

Fuck it's cold, like my soul

~~~

Marius: Babe do you love me? 

Dominic: not in the slightest

Marius: ughfdyfy for real? Oh my god

~~~

Mark: never have I ever been an asian named Grace

Grace: I kinda feel like that's targeting me

~~~

Mute: I'd slap you but that would be animal abuse

Dokkibea: what did I ever do to you??? 

~~~

Mute: I can't stand you

Dokkibea: you wanna fite?? 

Mute: I will literally destroy you

Dokkibea: is that a threat or a promise? 

Mute: *a promise*

~~~

Jäger: Bro I had a dream we fucked

Mute: Bro it's just a dream

Jäger: Ha gay I wouldn't fuck you

Mute: you wouldn't? 

Jäger: I mean unless you wanna... 

~~~

Caviera: When I was in the 3rd grade, people treated me like a criminal. BeCaUsE i KilLeD sOmEbOdY! 

~~~

Smoke: how's it feel to be worst cop ever huh? 

Bandit: shut up your mother buys you mega blocks instead of legos

Smoke: you fucking take that back

~~~

Kapkan: Hey cut the music, cut the music. Somebody left an ice cube on the ground it melted and now my sock is wet. Who the fuck wants to die today? 

~~~

Mute: who the fuck? 

Thatcher: Language! 

Mute: whomst the fuck? 

~~~

Twitch: do you have any ice? 

Dokkibea: I do not I just have freeze able fruit shapes

Twitch: Why? 

Dokkibea: *Just because*

~~~

Jäger: Would you rather kill Dokkibea or-

Mute: Kill her. 

Jäger: I didn't even finish. 

Mute: I don't need to here the rest. 

Dokkibea: I'm feeling a little unsafe. 

~~~

Bandit: Ugh, Blitz is the worst

Bandit: With his fucking hair cut

Bandit: And his nasty ass shoes

Bandit: And that goddamn voice of his

Bandit: What a fucking idiot

IQ: Your sitting in his lap right now

Bandit: And you're point is? 

Blitz: •_•

~~~

Blitz: So if you play it you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people will die. 

Bandit: *plays harmonica*

Blitz: Dominic *No*

~~~

Lion: Welcome to Bible study. Where all children of Jesus! 

~~~

Smoke: Babe pass the salt. 

Mute: *reaches for salt shaker*

Sledge: *picks up mark and sets him in smokes lap*

Smoke: Thank you. 

~~~

Mute: Hey honey, did you hang out with Grace last night? 

Vigil: You know what, yeah I did. 

Mute: Oh... I love Grace

Vigil: You hate Grace

Mute: YEAH NO SHIT HONEY

~~~

Thatcher: Every time you yell at your kids put a quarter in you no yelling sock and soon you'll have a weapon to beat the shit out of them with. 

~~~

Dokkibea: I thought you were bae

Dokkibea: I thought we were fam

Twitch: Bro ;-;

~~~

Jäger: Road work ahead

Jäger: Uh yeah I sure hope it does

~~~

Fuze: Haha! 

Jäger: Come on give it back

Fuze: First you gotta say my name

Jäger: Alright big daddy, now give it back

Fuze: ..... My name is Shuruh

~~~

Bandit: Ok so change of plans. I'm not going to college anymore I'm going to hell. 

Bandit: Not that excited

~~~

Blitz: Be honest do these shorts make my butt l99k big? 

Bandit: It makes that ass look fat

Blitz: What the fuck ..... Thank you

~~~

Lord: So I am confusion. Why is this one Kansas but this one is not are Kansas? 

Lord: America explainexplain explain what do you mean in Arkansas?? 

~~~

Mute: I'm making copies.

Mute: *pushes Dokk* Move I'm gay. 

~~~

Mute: Hey. How you doing, well I'm doing just fine I lied I'm dying inside. 

~~~

Mute: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions Chul? 

Vigil: No

Jäger: I do

Mute: I know Marius

Jäger: I'm sad

Mute: I know Marius

~


End file.
